Role of Fathers (B)

In my previous blog, I said that it is the primary role of fathers to instruct their children in spiritual matters.  I will now outline the impact fathers have when they follow the Bible’s pattern for godly fathers.  To help you remember, I have simply called the pattern “one responsibility”, “Two “T’s” and “3G”.

1.         One Responsibility

Like Abraham, all fathers have one responsibility and that is “to direct his children and his household after him to keep the way of the Lord by doing what is right and just.” (Genesis 18:19).  All fathers are responsible for the spiritual instruction and growth of their household.  They should never abdicate this primary responsibility as it is God’s pattern for parenting.

2.         Two “T’s”

(a)              Tell Stories

We now turn to Psalm 78:1-7 to learn the two “T’s” that fathers can do to bring up their children in the fear of the Lord.  The first ‘T’ stands for ‘Tell’.  In verses 3-4, the psalmist said, “What we have heard and known, what our fathers have told us,  we will not hide from their children; we will tell the next generation the praiseworthy deeds of the Lord, His power, and the wonders He has done.  In other words, the psalmist advised us to tell stories to our children of what God has done for the family.  Every family has stories of the signs, wonders and miracles of God.  Each child born is a miracle and fathers should always be ready to tell their children how God had helped the family.

(b)              Teach God’s Word

The second ‘T’ stands for teach.  The psalmist advised in verse 5 that God “decreed statutes….. which He commanded our forefathers to teach their children.”  Fathers have the role of teaching God’s word to their children.  It doesn’t have to be a classroom setting.  The Bible says that when a father is walking with his child, he can merely share a Biblical truth that applies to a situation the child is facing.

For example, the child is about to face an examination.   The father can share Proverbs 3:5which reminds the child to trust in the Lord with all his heart when taking the exams.  Such truths shared in an informal setting is impactful as it meets the child’s need.

3.         ‘3G’ Effect

When a father recognises his one responsibility for the spiritual growth of his child and does the two “T’s” of telling stories and teaching God’s word, he will have a “3G’ effect on his family and descendants.  The psalmist says in verses 6-7 that the next generation would know God’s truths, even the children yet to be born, and they in turn would tell their children.  Then they would put their trust in God and would not forget His deeds but would keep His commands.

This ‘3G’ effect means that the father’s words will impact 3 generations – his children, his grandchildren and their children.  Never underestimate the ‘3G’ effect of a godly father’s words.  We serve a faithful God who will ensure that our faithfulness to Him will be passed on to generations to come (Deuteronomy 7:9).

Role of Fathers (A)

1.         The trend

Having taught an Adult Bible Class for more than two decades, I have noticed a trend in attendance.  Initially, the class comprises about 50% males, 50% females.  However, now the class comprises about 90% females and 10% males.  While the 90:10 ratio may not be representative of church attendance, there is a trend towards there being more females than males attending church

2.         A desirable trend?

This trend reveals that females are more inclined to spiritual matters than males.  Is this a desirable development?  Should spiritual matters be left mainly to the females?  What is the role played by males in spiritual matters?  In particular, what is the role of fathers in spiritual matters?

3.         Fathers to lead in spiritual matters

From the example of Abraham, we learn that fathers have a specific role in the spiritual upbringing of the family.  In Genesis 18:19, God said of Abraham, “For I have chosen him, so that he will direct his children and his household after him to keep the way of the Lord by doing what is right and just, so that the Lord will bring about for Abraham what He has promised him.”  We see here that God’s role for Abraham was to lead his family in spiritual matters.

In another example from the life of Samson, we read the desire of Samson’s father, Manoah to bring up his child in the way of the Lord.  Manoah prayed to the Lord, “O Lord, I beg you, let the man of God you sent to us, come again to teach us how to bring up the boy who is to be born” (Judges 13:8).  Again, we see the Bible story emphasising that from God’s view point, fathers play a primary role in spiritual matter.

4.         Women have stood in the gap

I believe that fathers should not leave spiritual upbringing to mothers only.  In the absence of the father or due to the neglect of the father, the mothers or other female family members have stood in the gap.  But this is not the way the Bible intends it to be.  A mother’s teaching is important but the father must lead in spiritual instruction.

5.         A father’s spiritual instructions 

The Book of Proverbs gives numerous examples of the role of fathers in spiritual instructions.  The son is told to listen to a father’s instruction; accept his word and store up his commands; not to forget a father’s teaching but to keep the commands; pay attention to what the father says etc (Proverbs 1:8; 2:1; 3:1; 4:20). When fathers forsake their role in spiritual instruction, the family suffers. 

In my next blog, I will write how fathers can fulfill the role of bringing up their children on spiritual matters and what impact their instructions will have on subsequent generations.

The Three “It is”

1.         Trials of life

We can sometimes be so overwhelmed by events in our lives that we feel so defeated.  The incessant waves of disappointment, debt, disease and difficulties with people can cause depression and despair.  When we find ourselves in such deep trials of life, we can remember the three “It is”.

2.         Power of God’s word in our trials

When Jesus was tempted by Satan, He responded to the three temptations by declaring “It is” written (Matthew 4:4, 7, 10).  There is power in God’s word and Jesus used it to counter the tricks of the devil.  In all 3 temptations, Satan was attacking Jesus in three common fronts – the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes and the pride of life (1 John 2:16).  But Jesus was able to defeat each attack by applying God’s word to the temptation.

For instance, the devil tempted Jesus to turn the stones into bread.  He was asking Jesus to use His own strength to satisfy His bodily hunger.  This was a temptation involving the lust of the flesh.  However, Jesus applied God’s word to His situation when He said that “It is written,” Man shall not live by bread alone but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God.”  From Jesus’ example, we are reminded that we live according to the truths taught to us by God’s word.  There is power available in God’s word to help us deal with temptation involving our bodies.   Instead of fixing our eyes on the tempting desires, we turn to fix our eyes on the truth of God’s word.

3.         Presence of Jesus

In another incident recorded in Matthew 14:22-32, Jesus was walking on water even as His disciples were struggling in their boat tossed about by the storm.  When they thought He was a ghost, He assured them and said, “It is I”, don’t be afraid” (verse 27).  Similarly, when we are faced with trying circumstances, we need to remember that Jesus is with us all the time.  His presence with us enables us to be over comers.  His peace within us stills our hearts even as the storm rages on the outside.

4.         Payment by Jesus

When Jesus hung on the cross, He declared, “It is finished” (John 19:30).  Those three words assure us that Jesus had paid the debt for our sins.  Because He died for us on the cross, God remembers our sins no more (Hebrews 8:12).  We don’t have to carry with us our past guilt.  It is finished.  Jesus has removed all our sins, past, present and future.  He has paid the price for all our wrongs.  We need to believe Him and let Him guide us forward.

5.         Power, Presence & Payment

The three “It is” reminds us that when we face any trial, we have the power of His word (It is written) to guide us in what we should do.  We have His presence (It is I) which assures us that all will be well within even if it’s stormy outside.  Finally, we have received forgiveness of our sins because Jesus paid a debt He did not owe (It is finished) so that we can be freed of a debt we cannot pay.

Did You Hear His Last Thoughts?

“When my life was ebbing away, I remembered you, Lord, and my prayer rose to you, to your holy temple”

(Jonah 2:7)

1.         Is he saved?

A Christian student was very disappointed with herself.  A few days earlier, she had shared the gospel with her teacher but he did not pray the sinner’s prayer.  Having attended church in his younger days, the teacher had back-slided and no longer went to church.  After hearing her share the gospel, he was not prepared to believe in  Christ as his Saviour.

She is very upset with herself now as she just heard that her teacher was involved in a road accident and died.  She kept asking herself, “Is he saved?”  “Should I have persisted in my sharing of the gospel?”  “Maybe I should have pressed for a decision instead of allowing him time to decide.  Now he is lost forever.”

2.         It’s for God to decide

Is he really lost forever?  Is his salvation based on whether he said his sinner’s prayer after she shared the gospel?  I don’t think it’s that simple.  I don’t think it’s for us to judge whether someone is saved.  It’s for God to decide whether someone is saved. This is especially so when we cannot hear a dying man’s last thoughts  before he died.

3.         Jonah died and was resurrected to life

In the Bible, we do have an account of a dying man’s last thoughts and this is found in the story of Jonah.  Whenever we think of Jonah, we remember him being swallowed up by a big fish.  What we may not know is that Jonah died and was raised back to life by God.

We read from the story of Jonah about a prophet who ran away from the Lord because he did not want to do what God asked him to do.  Jonah got on a ship and later encountered a storm which threatened to sink the ship.  Jonah volunteered to be thrown overboard to appease the raging storm.  Out of sheer desperation, the sailors agreed and threw Jonah overboard.

4.         Thoughts of a dying man

Jonah 2: 2-10 recorded the thoughts of a dying man who refused to obey God and chose to run away from Him.  In verse 7, Jonah said, “When my life was ebbing away, I remembered you, Lord, and my prayer rose to you.”  Even as he was dying, Jonah remembered God. He could not verbally pray but he must have thought out his prayers and God heard him.

Jonah sank to the bottom of the sea (verse 6) as he died.  But God in His mercy saved Jonah because with his last thought, Jonah remembered God who raised him back to life (verse 10).  Incidentally, Jesus referred to Jonah being in the belly of the huge fish for three days and three nights as being similar to His own death and resurrection (Matthew 12:40).

5.         Pray for God’s mercy

This story reminds us that it is God who decides who is saved.  Since we all can’t be there to hear a dying man’s words or know his thoughts, it is better that we not judge whether someone who died is saved or not.  God is the one who decides and we should pray that He will have mercy over the deceased just as He did with Jonah.

God Of The Hills & The Valleys

1.         Ups & Downs

There are many ups and downs in our lives.  When someone is undergoing medical treatment for cancer, there will be days when the cancer markers are down and its time to rejoice.  There will also be times when the body is so weak that one doesn’t feel like striving anymore. 

When faced with certain trials in our lives, there will be times when we seem to be up on a hill; feeling on top of the situation; and seeing that we are overcoming the situation.  Yet in the midst of our jubilation, the situation changes and we feel like God’s not working things out for us.

2.         Hill & Valley

When the three disciples were up on the Mount of  Transfiguration (Mark 9:2-13), they were given the uplifting experience of seeing Jesus transfigured before them.  They experienced such joy that Peter even decided to stay up there so that they could prolong their ecstatic experience.  That was not what Jesus had in mind.  He decided that they should get back down to the valley and face the harsh realities of life.

In Mark 9:14-29, we read of what the three disciples encountered when they came down from the hill of joy to the valley of reality.  In the valley, the 3 disciples encountered the difficulties of a troubled world temporarily under the control of Satan. They saw how Satan had his grip on a boy’s life and how much pain it could  be living in the valley.  Yet they also saw that Jesus could help when they had Him in the midst of their troubles.

3.         What matters is that God is with us

When we are faced with the ups and downs of life, we need to remember that we have a God of the hills and valleys (1 Kings 20:28).  In the story from 1 Kings 20, we read of how Israel’s enemies thought that Israel was able to fight better in the hills than on the plains as they thought that Israel’s God was a god of the hills.  Therefore, they were confident of defeating Israel if they could fight Israel on the plains.  To prove them wrong, God enabled Israel to defeat the enemies even when the battle was fought on the plains.

This story illustrate to us that it doesn’t matter whether it was a hill or a valley.  What matters is that God is with us.  Just as God was with the Israelites in the hills, Jesus was with the disciples when He came down to the valley.  Therefore, we need to remember that whether we are up or down, we always have a God who is with us.  It is His constant presence that ensures our victory.  It is not how we feel but who we believe that assure us that all will be well with us.

Who Decides My Future?

1.         Critical juncture

You are about to go for a job interview for a position you like.  You think to yourself, “Will I be successful?  If I don’t get the job, will my future be affected?”  Another student worries about the coming examinations, “If I don’t pass well enough, I won’t get to go to the university which I want.  If I don’t get that degree, my future will be affected.”  Yet another office worker asks, “If my boss gives me a bad performance appraisal assessment, my chances for promotion will be ruined.  My future in this company will be bleak.” 

All these voices have one thing in common.  They think that they have reached a critical juncture in their life.  If the situation does not turn out the way they expect, their future is sunk!

2.         Only God can direct our future

But is this the way a Christian thinks?  Proverbs 19:21 says, “Many are the plans in a man’s heart but it is the Lord’s purpose that will prevail.”  This verse reminds us that men may decide over the situation but they never decide our future.  It is our Lord’s purpose that prevails.

Men may mark our exam papers, give us a work performance grading or decide whether we are suitable for a particular job but they can never influence our future.  Only God can direct our future.  In Proverbs 3: 5-6, we are asked to trust in the Lord with all our heart and don’t rely on our own understanding.  We are to acknowledge the Lord in everything and He will direct our future.

3.         You can’t affect your future

You may say, “What if I say the wrong words during my interview?  Will I spoil my future?”  or ” What if my boss doesn’t like the way I have worked, does my work performance affect my future? ” or “What if I could not give the quality of answers that my examiners expect, is my future gone?” In short, can I affect my future?

Proverbs 16:9 says, “In his heart, a man plans his course but the Lord directs his steps.”  This verse reminds us that even as we make our individual decisions, we can’t affect our future because our future lies in the Lord’s hands.  We may make mistakes, say the wrong words or give a bad impression to those who will decide over the situation we are in but that doesn’t mean that our future is affected.

4.         Our Lord has the last word

We need to believe that our Lord Jesus is the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End (Revelation 22:13).  Men do not have the last word over our lives.  Our Lord Jesus has the last word regarding our lives. 

We trust Him to be bigger than our mistakes. We  also believe that He compensates for our weaknesses (1 Corinthians 15: 9-10) and have faith that all things will work together for our good because we love God and are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28).  Nothing we do will ever spoil His plan for our lives.  We live with the assurance that our future lies in His hands and it is He who decides our future.

Mistakes

We all stumble in many ways.  If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to keep his whole body in check (James 3:2)

1.         We all make mistakes

You reversed your car and backed right into a pillar.  You sliced the meat and cut your hand.  You trusted in your friend and she played you out.  Which of us have not stumbled in our actions and words?  To us, some mistakes are minor but some are serious.  How then should we respond to mistakes?

The first thing we need to do is believe what the Bible says in James 3:2 that we all make mistakes.  God understands that we are not perfect.  The problem with us is that we expect ourselves and others to be perfect.  If God doesn’t have the expectation that we are never at fault, then we should learn to ease up and not be too hard on ourselves and others.

2.         Get up again

Some of you may feel that it will be very difficult to recover from your mistakes because they are so serious.  That however is not the way the Bible looks at mistakes.  Jeremiah 8:4, the Bible reminds us that when a person falls down, he gets up again.  Don’t allow your past mistakes to spoil your present and future enjoyment of life.  There is no point wallowing in your past mistakes.  The Lord reminded Jeremiah to get up from where he had fallen.  We too should heed the Lord’s advice and get up again.  Like Paul said in 2 Corinthians 4:9, we can be knocked down but we are never knocked out.

3.         Repent and learn from your mistakes

We should bring our mistakes to the Lord.  Repent of your mistakes before Him.  To repent means “to change your mind”.  Change the way you acted or talked which caused the mistakes.  Admit to the Lord that you were wrong -that is called confession (1 John 1:9).  Where possible, admit to the person you had wronged.  In some situations in which nobody was hurt, learn from what went wrong.  For all mistakes, learn from them as they are God’s lessons for your life (Psalm 119:71).

4.         God’s future for you includes your mistake

Some of you may think that your mistakes were costly.  They had caused a blemish on your record.  Someone was  hurt and had to bear the scars of your mistakes.  You fear that when your mistakes are made public, you will be ashamed to face people.  You feel that your mistake has spoilt your future.

Again, that’s not how the Lord thinks.  Although mistakes have consequences, they don’t determine your future.  The Bible says that it is God who determines your future (Jeremiah 29:11).  God’s future for you is good and it includes your mistakes.  For example, God’s future for Moses included his mistake in killing an Egyptian (Genesis 2:12).  God’s future for Paul included his mistake in persecuting Christians (1 Timothy 1:13).

5.         God will rebuild your life

God’s future for Bathsheba was gracious enough to accommodate her mistake in committing adultery with David (Matthew 1:6).  There are many other godly men and women who had made serious mistake.  Yet God in His grace helped them overcome their mistakes and rebuild their lives. 

Will God not do the same for you?  He will rebuild what went wrong (Jeremiah 31:4).  You never lose when God is on your side.  Your God specialises in reconstructing broken lives.  Won’t He also restore yours also?

Nothing Is Too Difficult For God

 “I am the Lord, the God of all men.  Nothing is too difficult for me.” (Jeremiah 32:27)

1.         Your problems are too difficult

The country is in recession.  Companies are retrenching.  It’s too difficult to find a job.  Your husband is verbally abusive.  You can’t change him as he has always spoken to you that way.  It’s too difficult to get him to speak with gentleness.  Your boss is unreasonable and sets unrealistic deadlines which are so difficult to meet.  You are stressed out just trying to meet them.  When you are faced with such problems, you often conclude that they are too difficult to solve.  But are they?

2.         Hope in midst of problems

In the passage from Jeremiah 32, Jerusalem was surrounded by the invading Babylonian army and about to be captured.  The Lord told Jeremiah that He would allow Jerusalem to be captured and its people deported to Babylon.  He would allow them to go through problems which were too difficult to solve.

Yet in the midst of these problems, the Lord told Jeremiah to buy a field and keep the title deeds to the land.  Why would the Lord ask Jeremiah to buy land when Israel would soon be captured by foreigners?  It’s because even as the Israelites face problems, there would be hope for them.  Even though the Lord would discipline them, He would bring them back to Israel and they would buy and sell land again.  Economic activities will resume in future.

3.         God will do good things for you

Nothing is too difficult for the Lord (verse 36).  He could allow problems (of your own making or caused by others) to come into your life.  He could also build into the problems a hope so that you would not be in despair.  The Lord promised, “I will take pleasure in doing good things for them and I will establish them permanently in this land.” (verse 41).  God will do good things for you even as you endure the bad things.  Your problems are temporary.  You will pass through them.  Your trials will strengthen the fibres in your spirit and the Lord can then establish His strength in you permanently.

4.         Don’t feed your fears, feed your faith

Your problems are difficult when you fix your eyes on them.  When you focus on your problem, you feed your fear.  That was what Peter did when he walked on water.  He noticed the strong wind, became fearful and sank down into the water.  But when he fixed his eyes on Jesus earlier, he was feeding his faith and walked on water (Matthew 14:29-30). 

Don’t feed your fears.  Feed your faith by fixing your eyes on Jesus.  Nothing is ever too difficult for Jesus to solve.  Call to Him and He will answer you and show you things you don’t even know could be done to solve your problems (Jeremiah 33:3).

Who Are You?

1.         What is your identity?

A friend sent me an email recently and it got me thinking about identity.  It was entitled “The Jedidiah Identity” by Richard Speight.  In 2 Samuel 12:24-25, the story was told that after the child conceived from the adultery between David and Bathsheba died, she became pregnant and gave birth to a son.  They named him Solomon.  The Lord loved the child and sent word through Nathan the prophet that they should name him Jedidiah (which means “beloved of the Lord”) as the Lord had commanded.

2.         What defines you ?

(a)       What you do

A question was asked, “What defines you?  Is it what you do?”  For some people, what they do defines them.  They say, “I am a teacher…. I am a father….. I am a manager”.  These are their statements of identity.

(b)       Who you are

For some other people, they say “it’s not what you do but who you are that matters”.  However such thinking tends to be self focused and therefore not in line with what the Bible teaches.

3.         Whose are you?

God’s way is always the best way.  From the way He chose the name “Jedidiah” for David’s son, we can see God’s truth about how we should live.  By calling him “Beloved of the Lord”, God was in effect saying that Solomon’s identity is not based on the notion of  “what you do”, nor on “who you are” but on “whose you are”. 

When we know that we belong to the Lord and that He loves us and will work out His best in our lives (Jeremiah 29:11), we learn to strive less and trust more.  We learn to tell God, “It’s not what I do but what you do through me that matters.”  We learn to say “It’s not about who I am.   It’s always about my Heavenly Father who loves me and will work out His good purposes in my life.”

4.         Don’t  rely on your own strength

Solomon’s name means peace and he lived in peace during his life time; a peace which he in his own strength brought about . He strived hard and achieved much.  But towards the end of his life he admitted, “Life is useless, all useless” (Ecclesiastes 1:2). 

He said, “I accomplished great things.  Anything I wanted I got.  I did not deny myself any pleasure.  I was proud of everything I had worked for, and all this was my reward.  Then I thought of about all that I had done and how hard I had worked doing it.  I realised it didn’t mean a thing” (Ecclesiastes 2:4, 10 – 11). His disillusionment was due to him relying on his own strength instead of relying on a God who loved him and will work out His good purposes in his life

When Solomon’s identity was based on what he achieved, he found out it was meaningless.  He did not realise that he was not defined by what he did. He was also not defined by who he was. Rather, Solomon’s identity was defined by  the truth that he was loved by the Lord and that he could trust in God’s love to live  a meaningful life. If he had thought that way, he might not have concluded that life was meaningless.

5.         A disciple whom Jesus loved

Indeed, it’s not what we do, nor who we are but whose we are that truly matters.  John was the only apostle who called himself a “disciple whom Jesus loved” (John 13: 23; 19:26; 20:2; 21:7, 20).  John knew that his identity was anchored on the truth that Jesus loved him . As such, he does not need to prove that he loved Jesus. He need only rest in Jesus’ love for him.. 

Unlike Peter who declared, “I will never leave you, even though all the rest do!” (Mark 14:29) ,  John never felt the need to prove his loyalty to Jesus.  He knew Jesus loved him.  He rested in Jesus’ love to keep him loyal and he was at the cross while Peter who denied Jesus was not. In a crisis, John did not need to rely on his own strength but drew strength from Jesus’ love for him.

6.         A beloved son

While He was on earth, Jesus also rested in the love of God.  God had publicly declared of Jesus “You are my Son, whom I love; with you I am well pleased.” (Mark 1:11, Matthew 17:5).  Like Jesus, we learn that when we know God loves us, we can have the strength to love others also (John 15:9).

7.         My true identity

My true identity therefore lies in the truth that I am loved by the Lord.  Like John, I can affirm, ” I am a disciple whom Jesus loved. I have nothing to do; nothing to prove.  I am just deeply loved by our Lord.”